Dear Rachel McAdams,
I love you. Now I know, many times on this blog I have proclaimed my love for others, but this time I feel like you are the one. Seriously. Since I first saw you in Mean Girls, I knew you were the one for me. You and I can go places. But baby, to be completely honest with you, your new movie is a dud. If it weren't for you being in the movie, I would have fallen asleep.
I can see why my friend Elin liked The Family Stone (sort of). It definitely has its moments. The movie is tone deaf though, completely unaware of what sort of mood it wants the audience in. From one moment the audience witnesses crazy family comedy, with people food fighting, running around and slipping on things. The next moment, it becomes sappy family drama without any noticeable transition. Everyone is happy, no wait we are sad, we hate Meredith, we love Meredith. Can we just settle on something please?
I was actually angry at the movie for so falsely attempting to drag emotions out of me. It is widely known that I am an emotional person, and do indeed cry in movies. That does not mean a movie should do its best to make me cry. It all felt like someone was storyboarding the movie, saying "okay, here's where I want to audience to feel sad and cry." Nothing felt genuine.
Plus, as I noted to my friend Kim the librarian, the movie would have been a great miniseries. However, since the filmmakers decided to cram so much into the 2 hour movie, they actually ended up succeeding at nothing. No characters (aside from perhaps Owen Wilson's) become real, or even pseudo-real. Very little time is taken for character development and that made me absolutely not care. Of course, there's always Rachel to think about.
So honey, I'm really sorry I had to say all this about your new movie. You are radiant, and fantastic in it. A true beauty. One day, I know things will work out between us. Drop me an email, so we can figure out where we are going.
All my love,
Brett Evans
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Ever watch the short lived series Wonderfalls? It aired about 5 episodes but you can purchase the entire 1st (and only) season from Amazon. It was a brilliant show in a bad time slot and was never given a chance to catch on.
The star of the show was a girl named Jay, who I referred to for a while as my fictional girlfriend, meaning she was my girlfriend, but she was also a fictional character. Understand, the fact that she was my girlfriend was not fictional. Her nature of being was fictional. Get it?
Youe post reminds me very much of how I felt about Jay in those days.
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