To My Beloved Yahoo Launchcast

Dear Yahoo Launchcast,

Let me begin by saying that you are wonderful. You help get me through those rocky days when all I have is music to guide me. Since you entered my life, there has been a great deal of joy. Life with you has been terrific.

Which is why writing this letter is so hard. In the beginning of our relationship, I felt you knew me so well. You would play the exact songs I wanted without any hesitation. There were those glorious days where you would follow a great Journey song with a brilliant Coldplay song, nailing my mood perfectly. I felt as if you knew me better than I knew myself.

But lately, things have been a little off between the two of us. I know you felt it because you started playing some Al Green this morning in an effort to apologize. Relationships sometimes go through phases where someone has trouble relating to another person, and maybe that is what is happening to us. I'm just not sure anymore.

For example, there was last week when you started playing pop tart music. I thought you knew I hated that crap. Keep music by Hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan away from me. I thought you knew I wanted more soulful, emotional music. So I told you such. Our fight began there.

Now the incident where you called me gay was absolutely unnecessary. I have nothing against homosexuals, indeed I've said many times that I found my gay friend's romantic lives easier than my own. But when you started playing disco and showtunes over and over, I got really angry. Please don't assume anything about me.

Please, for the sake of our children, and by children I mean my computer speakers, stop all this fussing and let us continue on with our lives. We had such happy times together and we can continue our wonderful romance. If you don't stop, I'll be forced to move on to another streaming radio station. But it will never be the same.

All My Eardrums,
Brett Evans