All I got for my Bar Mitzvah was the Cantor singing a crappy song that went:
"Brett, you're changing on this beautiful day/You're one in a million/And now you're on your way." Okay, stop laughing for a sec and listen. No seriously. Ouch, stop that!
What the heck, Mom and Dad? You couldn't have afforded something more like this. Even if it was a crappy song, it would have still been neat to have Aerosmith and Fiddy (or his 90's analog) sing it.