Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Blogtiquette While Dating

R-Dogg is staring at me in disbelief, his dark eyes astonished. I can see in his eyes that he doesn't understand. He shakes his hair out in that uncertain way, looking down at his guacamole and chips. We are pretending to watch football.

"So let me get this straight, she has a blog?"

"Yes."

"And she writes personal stuff about you on said blog."

"I think so. I'm not really sure."

"Dude, what the hell is wrong with you? This is your advantage. Advantage Brett."

"It's not fair."

"Well, why? I mean she never said you couldn't read her blog."

"Yeah, but she never said I could, and it's untrustworthy while dating. Besides, too much information can be bad."

"But you would kind of know how she feels about you."

"I kind of know now."

"How?"

"Well when you wear your emotions on your sleeve the way I do, you get good at reading other people also. It's one of the small advantages of being a sensitive individual."

"So how does she feel about you?"

"She likes me, but is being cautious, like I am. I think she also doesn't want to rush into anything."

"But it would be so much easier if you just looked. She would never know."

"I would know."

"So?"

"Emotions on sleeve thing. I'm not good at hiding my feelings. Plus, just because you can get away with something doesn't mean you should."

"I have an option."

"Oh boy, this should be good."

"Just hear me out- what if I read her blog and kind of filtered it out and only told you stuff I think you should know."

"R-dogg, you are a great friend, and I appreciate the fact that you would do that for me. But lets consider this theoretical framework. You read her blog, and you find out something deeply personal about me. Say, in theory she wants to break up with me. You would feel obligated to tell me?"

"Yes, I would immediately tell you."

"But temptation is a slippery slope. You may in the beginning search only for pertinent information about me, but feel compelled to read all about her. We drink a lot, so you might feel the need to tell me all about her one night."

"So?"

"So how would that be any different than me reading her blog?" R-dogg exhales air quickly through his mouth. He's losing the battle and he knows it. I feel bad for him because I know he's just trying to be the sweet guy he is. But there are rules to follow.

"I guess you are right, but I just don't see why it's such a big deal."

"Well first, I have kind of an obsessive personality. I'm trying to keep things light and casual with her because I like her. She's cool and really nice and attractive and all. Every time I've rushed into situations, bad things happen. So I'm keeping myself backed off. Reading her blog would allow me to know way too much about her, and make me obsess over her."

"Kind of like you are obsessing right now?"

"Okay, you got me. But this is different, I'm making an argument about why I shouldn't be dishonest. I suppose I could be talking about any girl with a blog."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go home, watch some television and fall asleep while reading. I may even play with Wendell a bit."

6 comments:

Aldon Hynes said...

Hey Brett,

I have to agree with R-Dogg, but from a slightly different perspective. Are you interested in this woman?

If so, you ought to be interested in the things she does. Reading her blog is a great way of finding out about stuff that she is willingly sharing with the public.

Did she tell you about your blog? Have you told her about your blog? If there is stuff you don't want her to know, or she doesn't want you to know, it shouldn't go up on a blog.

If someone is interested in me, I would expect them to read my blog, and ideally even comment on the blog.

All of that said, I'ld keep the old Bread song in mind...

Papa Bill said...

How about the tried and true "I'll show you mine if......"? Pardon my stroking my long white putative beard,but every intelligent, interesting woman (I'm assuming both if you're attracted to her) I've ever met is intrinsically and devastatingly curious.She will have no compunction about reading your blog and has probably already committed most of it to memory (which is your unstated hope anyway). If she's even half the complicatedly mysterious, delicately devious woman you'd want her to be, she couldn't possibly resist.

John said...

How about we read her blog (it's called what?) and we give you a heads up, or downcast eyes, on your prospects next time we meet up? Seriously, I'm with Bill and Aldon on this. Besides, only an egotist would think someone else's blog would be all about them. So there's a lot more to learn and enjoy than there is to fear.

Brett said...

Yes, but maybe it's a bad thing to know too much. I mean, where does it stop? I'm trying to keep things casual here guys and you're totally busting my spot.

Holly said...

okay, Brett, here I go 'involving myself again... I just can't stand to see you torture yourself so...

You obviously talk about blogs and blogging, and I don't think she would have brought up that she has one if it was a matter of 'national security'... plus, she's had plenty of time to remove any incrimiating evidence, so... JUST ASK HER, will you? (if you can read it, I mean).

She'll probably 1.) appreciate that you respect her / her privacy (Internet???) enough to ask her first; and 2.) she'll probably be flattered. I have a few other ideas on how you could effectively use blogging to enhance this relationship - but I won't put it in THIS blog... ;-)

Transgenderedtrash said...

Ignore them all....you will NEVER be able to talk to her after you see the her post "My life before my transsexual surgery" You get my drift....