Friday, January 06, 2006

Working Out

I haven't been to the gym in the past month and the guilt is beginning to rise. It's not my fault though. Usually when I hear that people aren't going to the gym it's because they don't have the time or they just can't drag themselves to it. I want to go, I hunger to go and I need to go.

But I can't and it makes me sad. It hurts too much to lift the weights and I'm actually too skinny to continue doing cardio. So the gym is out, and when I drive by it, I get misty and reminiscent.

My hands are once again cracked, scarred and bruised. I'm at the stage where people visibly notice and cringe when I shake their hands. So I often keep them dug into my pockets, which makes me look like I'm uncomfortable around people. If I've been around you in the past month and you thought I looked uncomfortable, I wasn't. My hands just hurt badly.

I don't want to just deal with my psoriasis any longer. I've been just dealing with it for four years, and I'm sick of it. Why can't someone figure out how the hell to get rid of it?

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