Tuesday, January 24, 2006
My Body: A Short Story
It happened so fast. Lying in bed, I took a deep breath in, held it for about as long as I could, and rode the wave out of my lungs. I am not sure if I consciously wanted to leave my body, maybe reflecting some sort of inner turmoil. I was just suddenly hovering over it, staring at myself. It was a little weird.So I did what any individual in my situation would do. I took off. My body seemed like it was fine on its own so I flew out of the bedroom and explored. It's amazing how fast you can travel when you don't have to deal with the mass of a body. Time and distance seemed irrelevant as I coasted over the world without my body.I'm a little embarrassed to admit I did what any man would in my situation- I went to see old girlfriends and women I was attracted to. It’s not as great as you think. Once you are detached from the physical body, that need is sucked right out of you. Nothing exciting at all about seeing a random human body unclothed.I visited my parents, my sister and other relatives, who seemed to be doing fine. My sister was up late eating the leftover ice-cream cake from her 32nd birthday party last week. I wanted to tell her that she needed to stop secretly snaking or she'd never lose that extra ten pounds she's always freaking about, but without any vocal cords I could only think it. My parents were sleeping in separate beds, having conceded that their love lives were pretty much over and it was time to get some sleep. They seemed happier for it. Aunt Judy was getting high alone, as is common for her. She has not gone a day without pot since she was 12.After making sure all my relatives were okay, I traveled to foreign lands. I went to Shanghai, Bombay, Curacao, Dubai and several African nations I do not care to spell or even discuss. Living in America, I never understood how beautiful these places were until I'd actually seen them. Of course, I am not sure how I was seeing them, considering my eyes were thousands of miles away from me. I think I still managed to hold onto my poetic soul.I became lonely. Traveling around and seeing new places is fun, but without another person it seemed rather useless.The strange thing is, when I returned to my bed, my body was gone. I looked all around my apartment and found it in the shower, carefully shaving. While I had a good idea of how to get back into my body, I was curious to see it function without me.I followed it around all day, watching it interact with colleagues and friends, providing pleasantries and going through all the motions I would. It did a great job at work getting all my work done in at least half the time. Of course, it didn't seem to get bored or need to leave the cubicle to talk to my friends. It just worked until it had nothing to do and waited for more work.At the end of the day, it went home. I watched in amazement as it viewed the primetime sitcoms, eyes half open and looking dazed. After several hours, my body crawled into bed and went to sleep. That was when I made my decision.So now I am a traveler, leaving my body behind. I was lonely for the first couple of days, figuring that I was alone in my lack of body. It turns out that there are lots of us living like this. Our bodies didn’t need us anyways.
Posted by Brett E. Lassoff at 7:08 AM