Dear Mr. President (soon to be known as George),
I want to be your friend. Now I know we've never met and haven't ever interacted, but I think we would make excellent friends. I noticed you like to ride your bike on the long vacations you take. I also like to ride my bike on the long vacations I take. We should get along really well.
I've been really good about using gas, just like you asked us to. I haven't been to work in two days because I've judged that going to work uses almost a sixteenth of a tank of gas. It is my patriotic duty to not go to work in order to save gas. God bless you and your leadership sir.
Now as your friend, I expect certain favors. I'm not asking for much, maybe just a small appointment in your administration. I've seen how your keen mind works in appointing people and I have several suggestions of appointments.
As a teacher, I know that I am far too experienced to be Secretary of Education. But as you have no litmus test for making appointments I can see myself fulfilling several other duties quite well.
1. Secretary of Transportation
I am a driver, but I know very little about highways, trains or buses. I feel perhaps my limited time sitting in lines at airports could qualify me for this position. Also, I drove a van once.
2. Secretary of Defense
As a child, I played war frequently with my pals. I am pretty sure that's exactly what you are doing with your "war on terror." As your buddy, I would be excellent at figuring out how G.I. Joe can maintain freedom and justice in the world.
3. Secretary of State
I hated foreign languages when I was in school, so I'd be perfect for this job. Cultures are not my forte either. I would mangle introductions and generally anger most of the world's countries. Hey, we are probably going to end up bombing them anyways.
Thanks for listening George. I know you could be spending this busy time not answering reporter's questions about Harriet. Call me anytime so we can nail down some specifics.
Love,
Brett Evans
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment