Sunday, September 18, 2005

Debauchery aka Brett Got Game

Since it's the weekend I'm trying to do as little work as possible. However, I want a shot at this whole protoblogger thing, so I'm going to try and describe my evening last night in short vignettes:

1. I managed to convince a bachelorette party that I was a regional consultant for Miller Lite looking for shot girls. While no other guys were able to come near their table, I sat at their table for most of the night being funny and scaring off other guys. My game was rolling last night.
The score so far: Brett 1 Random other guys 0

2. I convince the bachelorettes to let guys buy them shots in exchange for their glow bracelets. I broker many deals with eager men who quickly run and get the girls shots. In exchange I am provided with two Jager bomb shots and my own glow bracelet. The guys still strike out with the girls because of their general overenthusiasm. Brett 3 (1 for each shot) Random overenthusiastic skeevy guys -2

3. Some guy comes over and hits on my friend Amanda. This guy has approached Amanda 3 out of 3 times when we've gone into Hartford. Amanda's boyfriend (not me) suggests to the guy that he is a judo champ and could easily break bones. I score this in my point category because I totally would have taken him also. Brett 4 Random skeevy guys -2

4. After many hours of dancing and singing (and other things which a gentleman doesn't discuss) I leave confident of my skills. I have crossed no lines, made new friends and fulfilled many of my own needs. My friend Ashley, Tony's girlfriend, buys me a slice of pizza. The pizza is bad, but it's free and thus scores me another point. Brett 5 Some random made up person I'm playing a game with -3

5. I am alone at last. A strange sense of need for companionship strikes me, but it is quickly wiped out by remembering how wonderful it is to sleep in a bed by myself. I win, so there.

Thus, my fun-filled evening. I feel so self satisfied now.