Thursday, June 22, 2006

We Love the Cristal

Dear Jay-Z,
I hereby extend an offer to tutor you over the summer in reading comprehension. I have some extra time, and I realize you might have some comprehension issues. Why not come by and together we can work on your skills- reading comprehension skills.

For it seems to me that your boycott of Cristal has nothing to do with racism. In actuality it has to do with your poor reading skills. I would rather not have that sort of misunderstanding happen again, so I'm here to help you.

You see Jay-Z, what you missed in the article is that the director of the company that makes Cristal, Frederic Rouzaud, never actually says anything negative about the hip hop community. In fact, he views Cristal's association with rap with "curiosity and serenity." Please note how neither of those words were bad.

Indeed, the one racist comment that you chose to pick out of the article was written by the author. Part of what I can teach you is that just because words appear near a person's name, that does not mean they said them. Yes, the words "unwelcome attention" appeared near Frederic Rouzaud's quotation, but they were written by the author. Your boycott should really be against The Economist and not so much with Cristal.

Furthermore, I can help you construct a heartfelt and sincere apology letter to Cristal.

Another thing, at no point does the article mention race. All it talks about is the hip-hop community. You are undermining your own community and acting racist yourself by suggesting that the hip-hop community can be boiled down to race. Dude, stop it.

Please consider my generous offer and drop by for some lessons. I promise, you wont regret the lifetime skills you will gain from it.

Best Wishes,
Brett Evans


Anonymous said...

I think your the one that needs a lesson in reading comprehension. Anybody that takes that phrase "curiosity and serenity" at face value and doesnt see the extreme sarcasm of it is really lacking in reading comprehension. Especially when it is combined with the invitation for hip hop to try buying for their competitors.

Anybody that reads the article can see that "unwelcome attention" exactly captured what Frederic Rouzaud was saying.

All that happened was Cristal said fuk you and Jay-z said fuk you back. You are the one making this about race. And quibbling over little words like a little bitch

Brett said...

But I think that was the tone of the article. It is clear to me that the author was always intending to make Cristal sound negative. Hence, Rouzaud's relatively indifferent statements versus the articles negative feelings. They want you to think that way, but it does not mean the company producing Cristal feels that way.

Anonymous said...

I see someone is still quibbling with words not only that but NEWS FLASH!!!! The Economist has a vendetta against the makers of Cristal and rich french snobs. Its all good though cuz Jay-Z has the race card but Louie has the rich, snobby card--"They just hate me because im rich, French and snobby".

With your amazing skills in reading comprehension you were able to see the prejudice against the makers of Cristal but Jay-Z completely lacks your amazing abilities of course and he should never assume anything is being said between the lines.


Whats amazing is that white americans and the French hate each other, its only during times of great crisis and when they are under attack by powerful outside forces that they unite. The first time was when they were being attacked by the great British Empire in the Revoltionary War. The second was when they were under attack by the mighty German war machine and for the third time in history, in 2006, they unite to fight against Sean Carter of Marcy Projects, Bldg 9, Apt 2C.

LMAO! Holla!