I wish I had more control of what comes out of my mouth. But my mind just doesn't connect with my vocal cords in the right ways. A good example is ordering coffee in the morning. I practice while waiting in line, making sure I know exactly what I want. I want a medium black coffee with three splendas. Something about the person asking "may I help you?" messes me up. I say the strangest shit:
"Yeah, hi, good morning, how are you today? Um, I want a coffee, without cream, black. Oh, it needs to be a medium. So a medium, no cream. Did I say black? I want it black. I guess I want a medium coffee, black. Oh and three splendas. Make sure there's three splendas in there. So coffee, black, no creme or milk, with three splendas, medium."
It gets even worse at Starbucks. I always order a grande coffee in a ceramic mug. Before I go to bed, I recite "Grande coffee in a ceramic mug." I can never seem to get it right:
"Hey, whatsup, how has your day been? Yeah, um, a normal coffee please. A medium coffee, black. Oh that's right, I mean grande coffee black with three splendas in it. I forgot, you have the sweetener on the side. So just a grande coffee please. In a ceramic mug please. A grande coffee in a ceramic mug with three splendas. I'll go get the splendas myself. Would you care to join me for a cup? No, I understand."
Maybe the answer is to stop drinking coffee and switch to tea. That could be easier to order.