Friday, February 03, 2006

Karmically Bitchslapped

I'm not exactly sure why the stars have been so out of alignment for me. This morning I woke up without all the tiredness I normally feel when I wake. Then I looked at the clock. It was 6:50. I had to be at work in exactly 20 minutes.

I threw myself together in a surprising amount of time and ran out the door. Everything was going to be okay. I decided to stop and use the extra five minutes I had to get some coffee and replace the breakfast I missed this morning. So I stopped in to Dunkin Donuts, which was a mistake in itself since I am such a loyal Starbucks patron. But Starbucks fails to serve hot food, which is what I wanted.

I order my coffee and bagel and pulled out the wonderful gift card A-list gave me for my birthday. The woman behind the counter looked at me, an expression of disapprval on her face. She told me that the gift cards weren't working. In my early morning haze, I decided that wasn't good enough. I had no cash, and wasn't prepared for any such contingency. So I told her thanks but no thanks. Under her breath, but loudly enough so I could hear her, she said I was being cheap. I turned to walk out and she told me in a condescending manner to take my coffee anyways. I took the coffee, but now felt guilty about the whole incident.

Which is the exact way Karma wanted me to feel. For when I walked out into the parking lot, my back tire was leaking quickly. Without thinking, I hurriedly drove over to Town Fair Tire. The nice guy there told me he'd take a look at it and get back to me. He also yelled at me for standing in the rain.

My loval friend Doc picked me up. Doc was on his way to work anyways, so it didn't seem to bother him. He's always good for a quick favor, although he scoffed at my lack of Starbucks. He's also a junkie.

We arrive at work, where my guilt has grown to the point where I feel I needed to give away my coffee. I have a policy about buying coffee in the morning. If I'm stopping anyways, it realy isn't all that big a deal to pick up two coffees. So I usually give a coffee away to someone anyway. In this case, I managed to unload both coffees and feel better about myself. The day wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Until I got the call. The nice guy from Town Fair very nicely, and in a rather meek tone, told me to he had some bad news for me. I figured he'd be telling me that the tire couldn't be repaired. He did, but then told me my other rear tire had also been punctured and I needed to replace them both.

So I'm sitting here, wondering what the hell I did that was so bad. When I find out, I'll let you know the Karmic equivalent of two flat tires.


Patti said...

What an oxymoron!! Karma doesn't bitchslap--it may place a bump in your serenity--Karma and bitchslap--an interesting metaphor. Anyway--maybe you should have bitchslapped the counterperson....Oh forget it--it's early--start your day over. Namaste! TGIF!!

Papa Bill said...

What did you do wrong? Weren't you paying attention in class? Original sin, man. It'll kick the shit out of your tires. Ask Calvin. Also you're Jewish, you got no shot.

Anonymous said...

Who raised you? Dunkin Donuts coffee light and sweet is the ONLY coffee. Starbucks!?!? Take the 3 bucks you save and put it towards retirement

Mattyd said...

If you stopped spending $5 a day on a cup of coffee, you might better afford your new tires.