Friday, April 21, 2006

Rhetorical Nonsense

I have my own Howard Beale moments when I read articles by Ann Coulter. While scaning through her editorials I find my fingers tensing, my bones growing hot and cold. I very rarely become angry at another's opinions, but I do when it comes to her.

I've very recently realized there is a distinct reason for this anger. I don't believe that Ann believes what she is saying. Her writing suggests she is merely finding sensitive points to hit in order to fire people up. Her ramblings on news channels suggest that she's trying to make memes as she goes alone. Seriously, watch the way she moves when she says something totally ridiculous. Her eyes can't stand to be that close to her mouth.

I had to remind myself of my hypothesis while reading her latest article. In the course of the article she manages to suggest that maybe rape victims deserve what they get when putting themselves into situations. It's a little like saying a domestic abuse victim deserves to be hit by mouthing off to her husband. She also suggests that Natalee Holloway clearly shouldn't have been on a beach in Aruba at night while inebriated. Yep, that poor Holloway girl sure got what was coming to her. How dare she travel to a beautiful island, drink and take a walk on the beach. There should be laws against such things.

But in the middle of her editorial comes this disclaimer:

"Yes, of course no one "deserves" to die for a mistake. Or to be raped or falsely accused of rape for a mistake. I have always been unabashedly anti-murder, anti-rape and anti-false accusation — and I don't care who knows about it!"

This nice little package forgives all she said before. It's like saying the phrase "I'm just saying" which my friend Dee says is meant to clear somebody of any responsibility they take for saying something out of line. I'm just saying it, but clearly I shouldn't be held accountable for it.

Ann needs to put in this remark though because something has crawled inside her brain and let her know she doesn't believe herself. So, on occasion, she'll give an inch and back off her statements. She can let someone else run with them.

Then after this nice retraction comes the standard "blaming it on liberals" line. Yep, liberals are responsible for rape, murder, kidnapping and all sorts of terrible things. Every time a liberal does not cry out how immoral an action is, they clearly are condoning it. How about the idea that maybe liberals respect other's lifetsyles and let people live the way they choose? Mistakes are life Ann, the are how we grow into the people we are. I never learned not to touch a hot stove by someone on the news telling me to avoid them. It's easy to make these claims when you are writing for an audience and not because you believe such things. I'm just saying.

My personal favorite is her random and arbitrary slamming of Jews, Muslims and Christians which is a nice crowd pleaser and a great way to end an article. Next time, it might be nice if she takes some time and does her research before simplifying religious idealogies into quick one sentence phrases. Somehow the phrase " I don't know what the Jewish answer is" doesn't inspire confidence in a reader. Whining about how long the Talmud is suggests she is merely an ignorant mouth spewing forth nonsense like it was free.

Which, in America, it is.

2 comments:

Papa Bill said...

F--k Ann Coulter. The way I look at it- I'm better educated than she is, I write better than she does, and I certainly think better she does. Also my nose isn't brown from sticking it up the butts of a bunch of right wing assholes.

By the way, Thursday Bistro?

If you had an interesting childhood disillusionment, post it on my blog , or yours.

Brett said...

I'll be there for Thursday Bistro. We can talk about disillusionment.