Stop It!

Dear Rachael Ray,

Stop the madness. Seriously, we like you for who you are. But it's maddening to watch your show and hear you shout your "cute" little catchphrases. They aren't cute, or funny, or endearing, they are the most vile sounds in the English language.

If I have to hear you say "yummo" one more time, I may find myself inadvertently throwing my own 30 minute meal at the TV.

Speaking of which, you need to figure out that there are other modalities of speech. Your version of yelling, which makes me want to drive my fingernails into my wrist, is simply ridiculous. You have a mic, on your shirt-use it.

My advice to you is that you should be yourself and not try and put on these homey airs that come off as disingenuous. For a good example, look at Alton Brown. He acts zany, silly and funny, but he always appears like he cares about what he is doing. I imagine if I met Alton Brown, he would largely be the same person I see on camera. That is not the same for you.

Spend some time off, take a sabbatical and find out who you truly are. Only then can you truly cook your 30 minute meals to perfection.

Best Regards,

Brett

P.S. Your Mahi-Mahi taco recipe was delicious.